Thursday, July 8, 2010

Miztrezboo Week 9 Entry: From Green to Gold, and Gold to Brown


Picture 1

Picture 2

Miztrezboo's Choice: Picture 2

From Green to Gold, and Gold to Brown

Sometimes waiting feels like forever. Sometimes forever truly feels exactly like it sounds... endless... to infinity and beyond.

It's kind of hard when everyone you know is coupled off. Your best friend is a 'we'. Your parents. Your grandparents. Even your baby brother - all of thirteen - has a someone.

Being a third wheel is never enjoyable. Then as soon as you make one slightly negative comment about that, you become the one they like to set up.

In the words of Barney Stinson...

Haaaaaaaaave you met Rosie?

It becomes a code you pick up on that really means "Haaaaave you met our desperate and dateless friend, she's probably good for at least one roll in the hay or a hand job in the back of your car."

Well, I'm probably exaggerating a little there but, I think you get what I mean.

I've taken to hiding out on weekends. Inventing business trips. Inventing doctors appointments and dates with friends that only move in separate social circles.

Thank goodness I'm a popular girl. Otherwise I'd be stuck at home all weekend, curtains drawn and phones unplugged, just to hide from well meaning pals.

Lately though, things were getting a little too tricky between my fake social outings and it all had to do with a 'we'. A 'we' that I didn't see coming. Wouldn't have seen and probably wouldn't have been if it wasn't for me in the first place.

Alice and Jasper.

Alice was part of my party crowd. The go to when I needed a night out on the town dancing until my feet bleed and my head was buzzing. She was effervescent and nothing ever got that girl down. She majored in partying in college and even though now, she ran her own PR company, she still managed to be the 'it' girl wherever she went. People were drawn to her smile and laugh, the happiness and warmth that oozed out of her every pore.

Then there was Jasper.

Jasper was my favorite geek. The guy who listened and actually heard what you were saying when you aired all the problems that were swirling around your mind. Jasper and I had met in college, dated for two years of that and then another two after. We were great together, but not... forever. Jasper was into politics and the environment. I never quite understood what he did for the government, but I think it had something to do with either policy writing or information collecting. Jasper was a stickler for detail.

We all lived in the same city, but moved in very different circles. I'd always had separate groups of friends, people that I mixed with on certain levels but not together. It was because I thought they didn't have anything in common that I never actually thought about introducing them to each other. As it turned out, I didn't have to. Alice took over as PR for the State Governor and her first point of contact in the initial meeting was Jasper.

Fate, as Alice now said, had a hand in that.

So now that my two best friends were merging our once separate worlds, I had fewer options to use as excuses. I truly loved Jasper and Alice, but as a couple... they were slightly nauseating. It wasn't what they did or what they said, it was more the quiet way they were around each other. The little things like his arm around her chair. The way they'd turn in towards each other or finish each others sentences - filling in the blanks.

They always made me feel welcome. They weren't even that annoyingly cutsie wootsie.

It was probably that factor alone that made it even harder to be around them.

Every time I saw them. Every time we were out in a group or they had me over for dinner - because after a month Alice had moved into Jasper's apartment. Every single moment I spent in their company, I craved what they had.

I wanted that partner to come home to at night. I wanted to have someone to remind to pick up a quart of milk on the way home. I wanted to be planning long weekends away to some romantic hideaway or even just someone to hold my hand as we walked down the street to get the paper on a Sunday morning.

I wanted to be what nearly all my friends were.

And I was tired of waiting.