Tuesday, December 27, 2011

107_yroldvirgin Week 84: What the Heart Sees

Please give a warm welcome to our newest prompter, 107_yroldvirgin! She is alternating Tuesdays with Destynee.


Picture 1

Picture 2

107_yroldvirgin's Choice: Picture 2


What the Heart Sees

It’s hard to say when things started changing.

Little things here and there. Words that once were reassuring slowly began to feel like suffocating…permanence. Most girls would feel safe and secure, but she couldn’t ever let it fit. That second skin of his arms around her weighed her down and she couldn’t ever really bring herself to accept it. To be comfortable with it all.

It had unraveled quickly after she’d received notification that her internship had gone through. She was leaving. It was final. And suddenly his arms felt less like encasement and more like regret. But she couldn’t let herself dwell. Her mother had always told her that following her dreams and being independent were the things that really mattered in this world.

“You’ll never see,” he’d told her as she packed her things, fighting back tears and that feeling deep in her gut that maybe she should stay. Maybe he was enough. Maybe living in one place with one person; waking up to his face every morning and sharing a sink where they brushed their teeth would be enough.

They’d be that couple that everyone talked about in quiet whispers as their hearts yearned and ached for what they had. Those smiles and cute words spoken in front of friends. Stolen glances years and years later.

Or they’d be the ones their friends spoke over dinner about, in quiet hushed tones as they dissected exactly how it had all gone wrong.

“You’ll never see,” he’d told her again as he grabbed his coat and slipped his arms inside, turning to face the door while his hands ran over his cheeks sadly and his ears tinged red, “you’ll never see what you had right in front of you. Until it’s too late.”

And now she sits, outside on a cool morning, clutching coffee in her hands and pondering what her choices had afforded her. She was seeing the world. She was living her dream. And yet, as she looks around her, she can only feel that pull of sadness as other couples lean and whisper, eyes caught in some kind of trance as their fingers press against each other’s… or against cheeks… or curl into collars to pull them closer.

She holds a picture of the two of them, both fair-skinned, and light eyes, but their hair a direct contrast to the other. Their smiles so bright. Their bodies so close together. She lets the corner of the photo flutter in the morning breeze as she waits for connection on her computer, the small café being one of the only spots in the city where she can get free wifi. The coffee becomes cooler and finally turns icy as she waits.

As her heart beats with the hope of a small green light appearing on her screen.

As her ears strain to hear the sound of his connection to Skype like he’d promised after she’d emailed him.

And her eyes well with tears as the sounds and lights meet together just once before she clicks on the icon to show her face to him.

His appears on the screen and his eyes…they are hopeful… as are hers, squinting against the happiness and fear she feels so deep inside. Because she finally sees. He’s right in front of her. And if he’ll have her, she’ll be back in his arms once again. Because what she thought she wanted was fleeting, but he? He is forever.

She can see it in his face as she leans forward and touches a finger to the screen, smiling soft and timid before she speaks.

“Hey, baby. I’ve missed you…”