Sunday, January 15, 2012

Kimmydonn Week 86: Love Me


Picture 1

Picture 2

Kimmydonn's Choice: Both


Love Me

I blinked my eyes, unable to recall where I was. Why was I lying on the grass at the park? I wasn’t even in the park. I was on the outskirts. I hurt everywhere, especially below my belly button. Had I fallen? I wasn’t the most graceful person around. I could easily have taken a tumble on the slippery leaves that made a soft cushion beneath me.

A gust of wind chilled my nethers, making me realize my legs were exposed. Not completely, but my pants were around my knees. What? That didn’t make any sense. It might explain how I had fallen, but I was pretty sure it didn’t. I tried, desperately, to recall an hour ago, two, but I came up empty.

I turned to sit and pull my pants up, sniffling a little at the pain it caused. The area between my legs was on fire and I must have had bruises on my bum because I could feel them when I sat. I rolled to my knees as soon as my pants were up to ease the pain.

My head sank to my arms as I tried to remember anything. What was the last thing I could remember? Being in Donnie’s apartment. We had planned a big day together and were starting it off the best way possible. My stomach turned at the pain that accompanied the memory of me with my ass in the air. It hadn’t hurt then, but it would now. The plan had been to show Donnie how much I wanted to be with him, how willing I was to do anything and everything with him. We hadn’t used the word yet, but I wanted to show him I loved him, and I wanted him to love me.

The afternoon had gone well. We’d made love and gone to a movie, where I’d blown him in the back of the theater. Afterward, he took me to dinner. His eyes were constantly undressing me across the table, making me eager to finish and get the bill.

“Want to try something new?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

Always eager to please, I nodded and he added something to my wine.

My head came up. Donnie had done this to me? He’d left me in the park? My eyes were level with a tiny, West Highland terrier. He had to be the most adorable dog I’d ever seen. His warm brown eyes were fixed on me while his tail wagged behind him, almost like mine would have for Donnie.

Tears welled in my eyes. I was nothing more than a pet. So eager to please that I’d made myself less than a person.

The dog came and licked my forehead. I covered the rest of my face to hide the tears, the shame.

I had to get home. I had to tell Donnie that he had ever meant anything to me. I had to go back to my life as it had been, as it should have been.

I searched around for my purse or phone but found neither. Finally, I gave up and hiked home.

“Oh my God,” my roommate cried as I came in. “You’re okay.”

“What? I’m not perfect, but-”

“Donnie’s in the hospital, ICU. They don’t know if he’s going to make it.”

I stared at her with my mouth open. What had happened last night?