Friday, December 24, 2010

Miss Beckie Louise Week 31: I Love You

Miss Beckie Louise

Picture 1

Picture 2

Miss Beckie Louise's Choice: Both

I Love You.

I burst through the front door, ran up to my room, picked up my bowl of goldfish and took it into my bathroom. There, I put the plug in the bath and filled it with cold water before pouring the fish into the bath. Don't ask me why I did this, it was some random thought I had in my head as I was walking home.

I cleaned the bowl and looked at the swimming fish. I sighed and sat in my bath awkwardly looking at the fish and how they looked so peaceful all the time. They don't have wars or heartbreak or anything like that. They have 30 second memories so they forget absolutely everything. I wish I had a 30 second memory or someone like “2 second Tom” in “50 First Dates.”

Just thinking about having a 30 second memory brought back the memory of what had happened not two hours ago.

I watched him play football at the beach, we'd been together for a few months and I was ready to say those three important words. I watched him play with his friends and I sat on the sand bank watching for a few hours, it was great to watch him, he was an amazing footballer. When he scored the winning goal, I jumped up and down in excitement. I was going to tell him.

I ran down the bank to him and he kissed my cheek after picking me up and twirling me around on the spot. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Once he put me down he had his congratulatory 'man hug' from the gang before they all went their separate ways.

“Can we talk?” I asked him once everyone had gone.

“Yeah sure... what's up?” he asked.

“I want to tell you something...” I trailed off, I was finally going to say the words. “I love you.”

I smiled, pleading with him to return it, but his face turned into shock, amazement, and then amusement.

“Y-You love me?” he asked and I nodded.

“Babe, I like you, but I'm not in love with you.” My heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

“Oh. Well, urm. I'll see you later,” I said before running away from him tears streaming down my face.

Why it had to be me who said the words first I don't know. I looked down at the fish swimming around me. They are so lucky, they don't get laughed at, or humiliated. They have their own little fishy worlds and no one batters an eyelid.

Who'd have thought the words “I love you,” would cause so much trouble? I lent my head back against the wall and thought about the words I spoke over and over again. My phone was in my pocket and kept ringing. It was driving me insane so I turned it off.

I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard the doorbell ring constantly for a few minutes. I got out of the bath and changed into my dressing gown before walking downstairs. I opened the door, and stood there was my boyfriend.

“What do you want?” I asked, probably more rudely than I wanted, the door only wide enough for my head to poke through.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he said.

“Then talk.”

“I wanted to say sorry, for not saying it back. I like you, a lot and I can see myself falling in love with you, but not just yet. Just know I'm starting to feel the same way. I don't want to loose you, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

I smiled at him and opened the door a bit wider. He stepped up enter the house and I moved out of the way.

“Will you say it again?” he asked.

I sent him a confused look, what did he want me to say again?

“Please, babe. Say it again.” He sent me a pleading look and I understood what he meant.

“I love you,” I said and he kissed me.