Saturday
Picture 2
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I felt like this was it. Everyone had that one life decision that changes everything. That one moment where you know the rest of your life will never be the same. You’ll either spend a life of regret, or a life of magic and love and passion. If this were a movie, it would show the main character with conflicted emotions on each decision, but the audience watching is screaming “GO WITH HIM!!! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!!” I would know, I’m usually the one yelling and throwing popcorn at my small tv. But this isn’t a movie, it’s real life. And I can’t ask anyone what they think I should do, because it’s not their place.
I have the chance of a lifetime to move to Italy with a man I love. Why am I so conflicted then? Maybe it’s because I’m not sure if it’s love or lust. Maybe I only love him for his money. But I don’t think either of those are true. Maybe it’s because I know who I really love, but I’m not so sure he loves me back. I’m tired of waiting for the day when Michael realizes he loves me. Who knows if it will ever come. Leo asked me to marry him and I know it’s sudden, but he really loves me so why wait? Why wait is I’m not so sure I love him back. I think I do, but it’s a different love for him than I have for Michael. That’s why I hesitate. I may love him now, but what happens if that love dies? I’m left alone in Italy. I love my life in Michigan, I have family there, and a job there, and friends. Am I willing to give it all up for a hot guy in Italy? I know what my friends would say “Hell yeah! Don’t forget to send a postcard!” but why does that not feel right?
“Terri?” I looked up from the window I was staring out. Leo was standing in the door smiling. “What is it you are looking at?”
I stood up and pointed to the statue outside the window. “I can’t figure out what the sculpture was thinking when he put that there,” I chuckled.
Leo moved closer so he could see, strategically wrapping his arms around my waist. “It was put there to guard the house from bad spirits.”
“And does it work?” I asked, turning around.
He thought about it for a while before nodding. “I think it has so far. If anything it has brought great luck to this household.”
“You know today is my last day here, Leo.”
He sighed, looking out the window. “I know, I was hoping I could convince you to stay.”
“I have a job.”
“Quit.”
“I have family out there.”
“I’ll move them here.”
“They won’t move,” I chuckled.
“So we’ll visit often,” he shrugged.
“What about my dog?”
He sighed, “when you bring a dog into this conversation, I know you’re grabbing at straws.”
“No really!”
He stopped me by pressing his lips to mine. “Terri, please stay.”
“I have unfinished things back in Michigan,” I argued.
He released me and backed away with a smile. “Finish them and come back, yes?”
I hesitated before smiling and kissing him again. He left me alone as I began to pack my things, getting ready to go home. The question still repeated like a broken record in my head. “Stay or go? Stay or go? Stay or go?” I wish it was as easy as flipping a coin.
My mother used to tell me to flip a coin on every decision in my life. While the coin is in the air, you find yourself hoping for a certain side; it doesn’t matter what it lands on, it matters what side you wished it landed on. I thought about using a coin to make this decision, but I don’t even know what side I want it to land on. What I want is an excuse to pick one. A reason why I should. A real good reason to say “this is why I did it”, but I don’t even have that. I needed a sign, but when would it come?
The flight home was the longest one of my life. Most of the people on the flight slept through it or watched the movie on the small screen, but I couldn’t concentrate or close my eyes for even a second. I was nervous, excited, depressed, every emotion possible. When I finally landed, my best friends were there to pick me up.
“So who is this Leo?” One asked immediately.
I tossed her my camera so she could see all the pictures of him. My other two friends surrounded her to see the pictures too. I described him over the phone, but they wanted pics.
“Oh my god, Terri. Why did you come back?!” They exclaimed, going through the pictures over and over again.
“I have responsibilities, you know. I can’t just stay in Italy my whole life.” No one knew about his marriage proposal and I didn’t know if I wanted to tell them. Judging by their reactions, they’d turn me around and stick me back on the plane sending their best wishes.
“When do you go back to work?” They asked.
“I have to turn in my paper tomorrow to the newspaper. It wasn’t vacation, I went for research,” I reminded them.
“Funny, I’ve yet to see a single picture for your research…unless your paper is on how hot foreign guys are then I’ll read the article.”
I rolled my eyes, taking my camera back. They drove me to my apartment and let me out. “See you later! I’ll return your dog tomorrow! She’s positively fat!”
I went in and checked my messages on my answering machine. “Hi honey it’s your mom. Just wanted to remind you to turn your lights off before you leave or your electricity bill will be expensive. Love you have fun!” I grimaced as I flicked off the lights that had been on since before I went to Italy. She was right, my bill was going to be over the roof. The next message played. “Hey Terri, this is Michael from work. When you get back from Italy, please call me, it’s important. Thanks bye.”
I grabbed the phone and sat on my couch, already dialing Michael’s number. He picked up immediately. “Terri?”
“Hey Michael!” I felt butterflies in my stomach at hearing his voice.
“Hey Terri, did you have fun in Italy?”
“Yeah, I did. It was really beautiful there.” I smiled, thinking about Leo. I cleared my throat, “so your message said you had something important to tell me?” My mind went to so many different scenarios of what would be important.
“Oh yeah um…you wanna grab a coffee?” He stammered.
I couldn’t stop a smile grow. “Sure, I’ll see you in thirty minutes at Starbucks.” We hung up and I ran to take a shower. I looked horrible after my long flight. I fixed my hair and got dressed in something not wrinkled in my suitcase before heading out to Starbucks.
Michael already ordered my favorite coffee and was sitting in the very back waiting for me. I walked up and he smiled at seeing me, standing up to envelope me in a hug. “It feels like forever since we’ve seen each other!”
I chuckled. “Yeah a whole two weeks.”
“Did you meet any Italians while you were there?” He sipped his coffee.
I bit my lip and nodded. “Yeah I actually met someone special…”
He raised his eyebrows. “Really? What’s his name?”
“Leo,” I started to regret even mentioning him.
Michael drew circles on the table, not meeting my eyes. “You like him?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I do… He um, asked me to marry him.” I tried to gauge how he reacted to this information.
He cleared his throat and put a smile on, looking up. “Wow two weeks and you’re marrying a guy? Sounds like Vegas.”
I forced a laugh. “Well I didn’t give him an answer yet… I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
I noticed a spark in Michael’s eyes at hearing this. “You haven’t told him yes yet? Leo…sounds like he’s a God or something.”
“Yeah my friends would say that,” I nodded.
“What’s holding you back?” He asked, leaning into the table, watching me.
I shrugged. “I don’t know…” I coughed and sipped my coffee.
Michael leaned back and looked away, preoccupied. He suddenly looked at his watch and stood up. “Well I have…something to do. Um, I’m glad you had fun in Italy, Terri. See you at work tomorrow.” He left without another word, leaving me alone and confused.
I suddenly realized in that moment, Michael would never say anything. I wasn’t going to wait for him to make a move. Leo was really amazing and I would be a fool to turn him down. With a sigh I finished my coffee and headed home. I looked at my unpacked bags and set them back by the front door. I was going back to Italy tomorrow. I flipped my coin and it landed. I made my decision finally.
I woke up early the next day and headed to work with my completed article. My boss was in his office talking to Michael on his piece about the meat industry. I knocked lightly and entered.
“Welcome back Terri!” Mr. Bernard said happily.
I smiled kindly. “I wanted to thank you for the trip and turn in my article…along with my resignation.” I handed it to him and backed away.
Mr. Bernard was confused as he read it. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m moving to Italy,” I barely could smile. I refused to look at Michael when I said this.
Mr. Bernard smiled. “You’ll be missed, Terri. You were certainly my best writer by far everyone knows that.”
“Yes sir, but I’ve found something in Italy and I’d be foolish not to take the opportunity,” I bowed my head.
He nodded and chuckled. “Well my best wishes to you. I hope you enjoy it there. You are always welcome back here.”
I shook his hand and walked out. Michael didn’t even say anything, I felt tears stinging my eyes as I rushed out of the building. I had to make my flight in half an hour.
I made it to the airport with a few minutes to spare before they allowed boarding. I told my family and they said if I thought it was best to go for it. No one tried to talk me out of it like I was thinking they would. My friends promised to send the rest of my stuff soon.
“Now boarding for Italy.” The announcement over the intercom rang through my ears.
I exhaled air I didn’t realize I was holding and stood up. This was it.
“Please don’t go.”
I turned around and saw Michael out of breath. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t,” I said.
He walked closer. “The newspaper needs you… We’re terrible without out.”
I shook my head sadly. “That’s not good enough, Michael.” I turned to leave.
“I need you… I’m terrible without you,” he almost whispered. “I need you, Terri, and I understand if you want to go after some hot Italian named Leo, but I wish you wouldn’t…”
I wiped a tear away before turning back around to face him, smiling. “Then I won’t.”
He exhaled, a giant smile spreading across his face. He held his arms open for me and I dropped my bags, wrapping my arms around his neck in a warm embrace.
“Last call for flight to Italy.” The loudspeaker echoed as we walked out of the airport together. This was the side of the coin I secretly wished it landed on. I knew what I wanted and I wanted Michael.
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